OF THESE NO ELEGY
A Frank Gould Mystery (THE FRANK GOULD MYSTERIES Book 9)
Life and death. Do they ever balance out?
Book Summary
OF THESE NO ELEGY
Life and death. Do they ever balance out? A murder. Then another. People die every day in San Francisco. The City itself is dying. That’s what some people say. Nothing anyone can do about it, right? Pack up and leave, right? If you can… The dead cannot leave. The poor and homeless cannot leave. The weak cannot leave. Anyone struggling to survive? They cannot leave.
Who can leave? The powerful, rich, those who complain about The City “dying” around them, the very dying they create.
The Silver Fox? He’s staying. He has a family. He’s looking for work, now, and…OOPS!!! Work has found him. A body here. A body there. Bodies popping up…down…everywhere! A bloody mess, too. But… He doesn’t do this work any longer, does he? Naughty, naughty… What excuses will he come up with this time? Maybe some coincidence will…pop UP? They often do… So many things pop up for The Silver Fox.
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About the Author
Alan Asnen
Sorry, folks. If you’re looking for J. T. Geissinger you’ve come to the wrong stop. None of that here, move along.
But if you love Cozy Mysteries…Well, you may hate this one. The uncoziest of the Cozy’s. It may also be the funniest, winding through chapter after chapter of the longest running serial, a hot tamale of a cozy soap opera mystery.
You’ve seen Bullet Train? Loved it. Like the Frank Gould Mystery Series, a train, but…slower moving, picking up speed as they go along. Similar to Bullet Train, filled with diversions feeding into and enhancing the storyline. Cinema-esque. But a book, not a movie. No teamwork. No formulas. No makeup (ehhh, maybe a little…).
Cats being threatened by crazy mobsters, fascist dictators, capitalist swine, people being murdered. That’s what folks want!
I write THE FRANK GOULD MYSTERY SERIES. (Plus a few other things…) Although I’ve never been a detective who has turned the world upside down looking for mad scientists, terrorists and fascist dictators, many of the other details of Frank Gould’s life and mine are closely related. Will I tell, exactly? It depends. What will you give me in exchange? I’m open…
I write juicy little mystery novellas that are then stuffed full of romance, heartbreak, historical, scientific and political trivia, turning them into lengthy novels. Which is why so many people don’t like them. But also why so many others simply adore them and find them so addictively witty, even laugh-out-loud funny.
Which side of that line might you discover yourself to be? You’d have to read them to find out, wouldn’t you?
These books are a bunch of thisa and thata. A mix of genres. I go all over the place. Remember what Eliot said (the other Eliot): “Young writers borrow, old writers steal.” And…I love being honest.
They say readers like to know these chewy little details about authors, though, so I suppose it’s a question of how hungry you may be. I’m here, always, waiting for your call.
In the meanwhile, any time you have any questions, give me a ring. Okay. So. But don’t expect anything typical. For example, here’s how your typical author biography is supposed to start:
“I spent my morning riding my favorite horse, Spartacus, with my loving kitty-cat, Tender, in my lap. We enjoyed the Spring dawn on our farm together, the sun was so warm, riding along the river bank, before stopping at our cottage, where I had been baking bread. The aroma was so…gorgeous! I dismounted and Tender and Spartacus played lovingly while I gathered some home-grown tomatoes for the evening meal…”
No. Not me, honey. Yeah, I have a cat, and her name ain’t Tender, but she is tender at times. At times. I’ve the scars to prove otherwise. That’s her being…tender in the photo. Miss California 2016. Cali, for short. Kind of like Kali, the Goddess of Death. Don’t bother her when she’s napping…
No farm. Gave up the farm a long time ago. Had to. Taxes. Wasn’t that big anyway. And never had an assistant to write such…nonsense for me, either. Horses? Sure. The neighbor has horses.
Somewhere.
And don’t expect the typical in my books, either. The world of publishing today likes “niches” and I don’t. Niches and formulas. Formulas are for babies, baby. I’m not a baby. Take another look at that picture. Who am I? ASK!!! As I said before, just drop me a line. If you’re so interested, take a moment. Pick up a book, get my email address and ask me anything you want. I’m friendly. I may not SOUND friendly. But I am… Oh, here: frankgouldmystery@asnen.net
In the meantime…
Want to know what to expect from my books? When I say “a mix of genres” do you think I’m lying? How about this for a mix:
Heavy on the RomCom when I’m not busy killing people and, when I’m doing neither I sure as heck am channeling, you know, Einstein and David Attenborough and Nietzsche and Darwin and all kinds of child perverters like that. But, do look out for that arch-enemy of us all…da-da-dum: REALITY. I do love me some reality. I read my buns off doing research for my books so there’s lots of out-takes from the news in there, too. A bit of The Thin Man…movies, not Dash Hammett. But a dash of Mickey Spillane. Not too much. Some Monty Python? Why not? Throw in some…Danielle Steele!! And, for laughs (as if Python weren’t enough…) Firesign Theater AND The Seinfeld Show. Oh, you want MORE detective and thriller? Okay. There’s some Richard Stark-ness in there (I steal a lot from him…well, from Donald Westlake, actually, who wrote as Stark) as well as Thomas Harris and Ludlum. And my FAVORITE, Mr. Chandler. Ross MacDonald, of course. I could go on and on and on… I am so smart. Aren’t you?
And thanks for reading even this far…